Ocean by Merri-Todd Webster lonchura@yahoo.com 4/18/00 You are smiling as you settle down between my legs. I'm smiling, too--not just because I love what you're about to do, but because I know you love it. It's what you love best. You might be surprised that I know that. Well, it took me a while to figure it out. Honestly, at first I assumed you were like all the other men I'd known, that you thought sex meant intercourse, getting in there and doing it, and everything else was just foreplay. I think the first clue I had was the way you always took time to make me come, more than once if you could, before we fucked. How long we spent kissing, how you lingered over my breasts until I was slippery already, how you watched me and listened to me and remembered everything I liked. Until I went to bed with you, I'd never come just from a man rubbing my clit, never thought those books about the G-spot meant anything. You didn't so much fuck me with your fingers as massage me, waking up every nerve ending in my vagina. The second clue was how often you went down on me--nearly every time we were together, and I never had to ask. Do you have any idea how many times I've asked--meekly, in a tiny little voice, afraid of seeming too aggressive and demanding because I'd asked for the one thing that was sure to make me come? I could never bring myself to take *all* of my sister's advice when it came to sex. "Ask him to wear a condom, but don't let that be your only protection. If you don't trust him, don't take off your clothes. And always ask for what you want." The first two things were easy enough, but asking for what I wanted was never easy. Until you. The third clue was how rarely you asked me to return the favor. Real men ask for head a lot, Mulder, but it seemed like nobody'd ever told you that. You were happy when I offered, but you never asked. That made it all the more fun to go down on you; it was like giving you a treat, not like doing a chore. What clinched it for me was the time you came without fucking me, while you were going down on me. I spread my legs wider to make room for your shoulders. I like to feel your shoulders pressing against my thighs; I like that little bit of tension, that little bit of stretch. I like feeling that sensation while I'm watching you look at me. You always look at me before your mouth touches me. Did you know that? You always look before you touch, like you want to be sure it's me, and you always look amazed. After the first time you did that, I did something I hadn't done since I was thirteen. While you were in the shower, in the morning, I got a hand mirror and I looked at myself. That would have turned you on, I bet. But I didn't want it to be a turn-on, which is why I did it while I was alone; I just wanted to see myself. Hoping I would see what you saw. That time I looked at myself, my labia were red and still parted from sex the night before. That's how I thought of them, "labia," something out of a textbook. My pubic hair was fluffed up, not lying flat from being pressed under my clothes--you'd combed your fingers through it, called it peach fuzz and chuckled. I brushed my fingers over the fuzz, watching red highlights flicker in the gold. My clitoris was mostly hidden, but when I spread the lips apart, my vagina was still moist. I could see it glistening, see the little opening where you'd put your fingers, your tongue, your cock. And I knew I would never again think of this part of my body in clinical terms, as vulva, labia, vagina. It was my cunt, my pussy, my hole, because you had called it those names, lovingly, and you were my lover. You're looking at me now, Mulder, looking at my pussy, and then you start kissing my mound. You often do that, rubbing your face in my fur, breathing in the smell of me. I'd never have the nerve to tell you this, but even that's a turn-on. It's your nose, Mulder, the way you rub your nose against my clit. Don't ever let anyone tell you that nose isn't an asset! I almost came the first time you did it. And the way you breathed me in, that was so arousing. There was a time I'd never have had sex without a shower first, deodorant, perfume. I had to be neat and tidy and ladylike before I took off my clothes and tried to drop all that rigid control. You cured me of that with the touch of your tongue and all those sweet words of yours. Peach, pussy, kitten, honey, beautiful, in that low voice of yours that rubs over my skin like fine sandpaper and makes my nipples stand up. I know I'll be hearing those words again soon, and I can hardly wait. My hips jerk upward as the tip of your tongue touches the tip of my clit. The corners of your mouth crook upward just a little as the smugness comes into your smile. I guess I can't blame you for it. Not when you can make me feel so good. Now the flat of your tongue sweeps across my clit, and I arch into the sensation, feeling moisture gush out of me. You love to tell me how sweet I am, how sweet I taste. I was already wet from your kisses, your mouth on my breasts, the clasp of your hands on my waist, but now I'm flowing. My cunt turns into a river that always flows towards you. You look up at me across the slope of my belly, then dip your head lower. I lift my buttocks a little as you trail down my cleft to the hole, to the source of the sweetness. Your tongue pushes inside of me and your hands come up under my ass to hold me, support me. I love the way you grasp my ass, a possessive grip, a little dig from the tips of your fingers. You're starting to get carried away now, licking strongly and steadily, sweeping from my hole to my clit and going back again. This is how you break me, Mulder, this is how you make me drop the armor, this is how you make me yours. These steady strokes of your tongue over my wet pussy, over my clit, the bobbing of your head as your hunger splits me open. You've called me your fig, your peach, your pomegranate, and that's all I want to be right now. I'm shaking and shivering with wanting, wanting to be eaten and devoured, wanting to drench you and flood you, wanting drown you the way I'm drowning. You raise your head, panting. My wetness shines around your mouth, spreads like perfume from your skin as well as my cunt. "You're my ocean, Scully. You taste like the sea." I cry out as your fingers slide into me, long fingers stroking the front wall of my vagina, and your tongue swirling round and round my clit. So many times I've felt like I'm drowning, lost in your life, your needs, your passion, the sensations closing over my head like cold, dark-green water even though I'm hot, so hot with desire. I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm shaking, and your fingers press just so and push it out of me, oh Mulder, I'm coming.... You inch forward and your shoulders press against my thighs, pushing me open a little further. Oh, God--you're going to make me come again. You take your hand away, leaving me so open, stretched wide, I'm frightened, and then you slip three fingers in, and I open up more. "You're so wet, my ocean, my ocean, Scully...." Your tongue fast and merciless on my clit, licking and then sucking, and then a noise in your throat that burns me, rolls through my nerves like the vibration that goes before an earthquake. I hear myself shout, a long vowel that has no name, as I come for a second time, and a third, and it never seems to end. When I can think again, when I can see again, I look for you. You're panting, your head on my thigh, and on your face that goofy grin I only see after sex. I grin back. "You came, didn't you?" "Mmm-hmh...." It's an ocean, Mulder. We're in it together. *** end